How Are Babies Made?
by Puss In Heels
Summary: It's only natural for a kid to be curious. Different Ace Attorney kids ask the same, very important question. Short, separate oneshots. Chapter 7: Ema wants to find out how babies are made...scientifically.
1. Trucy and Phoenix

Every child wonders about this at one time or another. When kids have questions, they're relentless. Different Ace Attorney kids ask the same question. Humor and family/friendship fluff is present. These are short chapters, and I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.

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"Hey Daddy? How are babies made?"

Phoenix choked on the bottle of grape juice he was drinking when his nine-year old daughter asked him the question he hadn't really considered when he became instant dad a year ago.

"We-well, Trucy. Um…I guess you're old enough to know," Phoenix stammered. "Uh…why so curious all of a sudden?"

Trucy looked at the ground before staring at her father, her eyes wide.

"Some girls at school were talking, and…I don't understand," Trucy replied, looking sad. "I don't want to be the only one that doesn't know…" Trucy finished, before casting her eyes to the ground.

Phoenix looked at his daughter's sad face, and he knew he was doomed.. He swallowed hard before beginning the conversation he knew he would regret for the rest of his life.

"Well, I guess I can tell you the basics. When a man and a woman are really devoted to each other…"

"Oh! Like you and Maya!" Trucy interrupted, causing Phoenix to turn bright red.

"Wh-what?"

"Well, you said you were always saving her and worrying about her, and that means you're devoted to her, right?"

"Well yeah…I mean no…I mean…when two people are married…" Phoenix stuttered, before his daughter interjected again.

"Daddy…you're not married."

"I adopted you Trucy; that doesn't count. Do you really want me to explain?"

Trucy nodded, smiling wide.

"Alright…well. When a man and a woman decide to have a baby, they…sort of…sleep next to each other.

"Oh! Like when I sleep in your bed when I have a nightmare!"

"No…NO!" Phoenix cried, tears coming to his eyes. "It's when…well…uh…when they sleep next to each other without clothes on" Phoenix finished, his face glowing with embarrassment.

"You mean…they're NAKED!" Trucy asked incredulously, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Well…yeah. Anyways, after that, with a little luck, a baby will start to grow inside a woman's tummy. And after some time…she'll become a mommy," Phoenix finished, looking like Godot's coffee had given him some second-degree burns. Despite his embarrassment, he was quite pleased with his explanation. Trucy, however, didn't seem satisfied.

"Daddy, did YOU ever help make a baby?"

"N…no. And that's not a very polite question," Phoenix stuttered. When he took Trucy in, he hadn't considered ALL of the repercussions of having a daughter, and that included this childhood curiosity.

"But why?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you make any babies?"

Phoenix sighed and scooped his daughter onto his lap, ruffling her hair.

"Trucy, I had never thought about having kids since I graduated from college. Before I knew it, I was 26 and not looking to marry anyone, much less have a baby."

Trucy got quiet as her father's voice cooed in her ear. Phoenix played with her hair while continuing.

"Then, when I was going through the hardest time of my life, I realized there was a beautiful, glowing eight year-old who needed someone…anyone," Phoenix whispered, watching Trucy's eyes fill with tears. "So I took that wonderful little girl home, and I told her to call me Daddy…"

"Daddy…I…" Trucy said, trying hard not to start sobbing.

"Now Trucy…when I have everything I ever wanted in a daughter like you…why would I try to make another baby? You're the only baby I'll ever need, Trucy."

"Daddy…thanks. For…teaching me about making babies," Trucy sniffed, before grinning at her father. Phoenix beamed back at her.

"You're welcome. It's part of Daddy's job."

"And thanks…for being my Daddy…"

"Thank you for being my baby girl, Trucy," Phoenix whispered, making Trucy giggle. Trucy looked into her father's eyes, obviously with one more question.

"Hey Daddy?"

"Yes?" Phoenix responded, slightly dreading the answer.

"When I get married…is it okay to make a baby?"

"You don't have to worry about that yet. That's a LONG ways away," Phoenix said, blushing some more. "Now, what prompted that question?"

"Well…if you love being a daddy so much. I thought you would LOVE to be a granddaddy someday."

"When that day comes, I'll be the happiest grandpapa in the world."

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Yes…it's sappy and cute. Sooo…review, and you will get more sappy cuteness mixed with parental awkwardness. Merci beaucoup!

Next Chapter: Little Franziska has a question for her papa…


	2. Franziska and Manfred

I'm so glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter. As a heads up, remember Franziska is a prodigy in terms of intelligence, so I imagine her as a seven-year old who quotes facts with no filter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the ace attorney series or any of its characters.

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"Papa, I have an important question for you."

Seven-year old Franziska approached her father at breakfast one morning. She had learned to never disturb her father when he was working, and she knew the best time to talk to him was on a Saturday morning when he was almost finished with his perfectly crisp bacon.

"Franziska, you should be working on your studies," Manfred growled, ignoring his daughter's adorable glare.

"Well…this came from my studies, actually. Papa, in order to perfectly understand the ways of humanity, it would be foolish to learn the foolish study of human anatomy from a textbook, but rather from a human in question…" Franziska stated, quite perfectly in her opinion. Manfred looked up from the newspaper he was reading and looked at his daughter's determined face. Studying the sciences at age seven was quite a feat for his perfect daughter, and he couldn't deny her the opportunity to increase her knowledge.

"Alright, alright my daughter, what question could possibly be important enough to interrupt my breakfast for?"

"How are humans made?" Franziska asked quickly, not seeming to notice her father begin to sweat profusely.

"What kind of question…?" Manfred began, looking at the ceiling to avoid his daughter's gaze. Franziska didn't seem to notice.

"I understand that human children, or babies, come from a woman's abdominal region, but how do they get there?"

"That's…well…um…humph," Manfred muttered, trying to hide the redness rapidly appearing on his perfect face. He felt like a fool for not anticipating this question, and so, he was not ready with an answer. Franziska seemed to ignore his subtle signs of panic by continuing her ramblings.

"Obviously, you have created two children, so you know how it's done. And you've always told me that primary sources are infinitely better than secondhand, so you can enlighten me on this matter."

"Franziska…I…" Manfred began, really not sure how to proceed. Franziska had a habit of latching onto every word he said, and the part about primary sources was no exception. Of course, in order to perfect his fatherly duty, he had to offer a perfect explanation.

"I am not a master of biology, Franziska, but…babies are made by a process of mixing genetic traits of females and males," Manfred recalled, trying to be as scientific sounding as possible without corrupting his perfect daughter's mind. Franziska shook her head, clearly not satisfied.

"I asked specifically about human children, papa…" Franziska began before Manfred held up his hand.

"Franziska, do not interrupt me. Now humans are no different than other organisms, so a male and a female combine their genetic material for their offspring," Manfred whispered, trying to omit any references to the indecent act. He noticed his daughter's frustration growing, and he was somewhat glad he hadn't given the girl her mother's old whip yet. THAT would not play a great part in this conversation…

"You're not explaining HOW that happens, Papa. Maybe you should demonstrate…" Franziska chirped, wagging her finger. Manfred choked on his coffee.

"Wh…wha?"

"Demonstrations of specific examples have shown to be the most effective education techniques," Franziska said simply, completely oblivious to her father's clammy hands and face.

"Franziska, some of these…demonstrations…" Manfred began, trying to hide his imperfect red face. "They are not socially acceptable for a perfect seven-year old like yourself…"

"You were the one who said it was not socially acceptable for me to remain uneducated! Why is this so difficult, Papa?" Franziska cried, clearly frustrated. Manfred pounded his fist on the table in response, angry not just with the questions, but his own discomfort.

"FRANZISKA! How DARE you speak that way to me," Manfred roared, glaring at his daughter as she hung her head and stared at the ground. He glared at the devastated look on Franziska's face, fed up with the entire foolish situation.

"But you told me…"

"These questions…they're very unbecoming of the Von Karma name, and it's shameful."

"But I…"

"ENOUGH! I won't tolerate it any further," Manfred growled harshly. Franziska continued to look away from her father, trying extremely hard not to cry. "Just…go to your room…and wait there."

Franziska bowed before sprinting up the stairs into her room. She slammed the door, locked it, and began to cry. She was trying to make her father proud by taking initiative with her studies, but she still couldn't understand the most basic of things. She buried her face in her pillow for what seemed like ages before she heard a harsh knock on her door. She pretended not to hear it, but the banging increased. Fearing it was her father, Franziska made the best attempt she could at drying her eyes before opening the door.

"Papa, I'm…" Franziska began before glaring at the magenta-clad figure before her. "Miles Edgeworth! Why are you in my room!"

"Franziska, let me in, and shut the door," the fifteen year old said softly, his eyes glaring at the girl. Franziska wanted to protest, but she didn't have the willpower to argue. Edgeworth made his way into her room, locking the door behind him.

"Little brother…you shouldn't be here."

"How many times must I tell you that I am neither little nor your brother?"

"Just…let me call you that."

"Fine, if it makes you happy."

The two sat awkwardly on her bed for several minutes before Edgeworth finally spoke.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Yes, you do. Tell me…what did you say that made him mad THIS time?"

"I…just…wanted to know…where babies…" Franziska trailed off as her brother gasped. Miles looked at her with a look of horror, amazement, and slight admiration.

"Did…did you ask where babies come from?" Miles asked incredulously.

"What's so wrong about wanting to know…?"

Miles began to chuckle before breaking down into downright laughter.

"It…it's not funny! I seriously don't know, and I shamed the Von Karma name by admitting such a fact!" Franziska exclaimed, tears still in her eyes. Miles gently put his hand on her shoulder.

"Franziska…no you didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"You caught him off guard. I don't think fathers ever expect that question."

"Did you ask your father?" Franziska asked, clearly curious.

"I think I did. He told me the stork delivered it and wouldn't tell me the truth. I had to figure out the truth for myself."

"Papa wasn't…embarrassed. He's perfect, Miles Edgeworth."

"Well…maybe in a court of law…" Miles trailed off, giving his sister a small smile.

"Well…then can YOU explain?" Franziska asked hopefully.

"Well…alright. But Mr. Von Karma can't know I told you. He'd filet me."

"I won't tell."

Miles told her everything, not bothering to hide his embarrassment, even laughing when he had to explain the more awkward parts. Franziska's eyes were wide the entire time, but she was listening, hanging on every word.

"Miles Edgeworth…you're not as experienced as Papa, are you?" Franziska asked, causing Miles's eyes to bulge out of his dead temporarily.

"Erm…no. I've never done it myself."

"So…I can't ask you for a demonstration then?"

"Franziska…you didn't ask…" Miles muttered before gasping. "You did! You asked Mr. Von Karma for a demonstration!"

"Stop it! Miles Edgeworth! Little brother, stop laughing at me!" Franziska cried, as Miles tried to compose himself.

"But now you understand…after what I told you, why he reacted that way? I can't blame the man."

"I guess…"

"Alright, I have to go back to the library…are you okay…?"

"Yes…Miles, I'll be fine."

"Thanks Franziska. I haven't laughed like that in years."

Edgeworth smiled at his sister before closing the door behind him. Franziska stared at the ceiling, thinking about how stupid she must have been before hearing a knock at her door. Manfred Von Karma opened the door, looking at his daughter with a puzzling expression.

"Papa…I'm sorry…"

"Franziska…there are some things a father can never be perfect at," Manfred began before sitting on his daughter's bed. "But since your mother passed, I have to take up the slack."

"Papa…what do you mean?" Franziska began before her father pulled the girl onto his lap.

"Franziska…when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

* * *

I have to say, Manfred is difficult to write, but I liked how this turned out. Reviews are loved! I also love suggestions!

Next chapter: Pearl's got a question for our favorite spirit medium assistant…


	3. Pearl and Maya

Wow…I have to say I'm surprised at how many reviews this has gotten already. I'm really happy you guys are enjoying this. As promised, here's a Pearl/Maya story. Also, uploading this wreaked havoc on the formatting, so I tried my best to fix it, but I apologize for any formatting issues I failed to catch.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.

* * *

"Um…Mystic Maya?"

Maya turned away from her Steel Samurai marathon to glance at her cousin, who was biting her lip nervously. They had spent the morning in the Wright and Co. lounge, watching every DVD Maya owned.

"What is it Pearly?"

"Um…I don't go outside the village very much, so I'm sorry I always ask you questions…"

"Don't be silly, Pearly! You can ask me anything!" Maya exclaimed, beaming with pride. Since their last ordeal, Maya had made it her personal mission to help Pearl with anything she needed to make her happy. Her last question had been about a roller coaster, so Maya dragged Nick to the new Gatewater Land theme park for an action-packed day of adventure. She was hoping to answer her cousin's next question with the same sort of enthusiasm.

"Oh…okay! I was wondering…where do babies come from?" Pearl asked thoughtfully before Maya's eyes widened.

"Eh?"

"I'm sorry…it's probably a dumb question…"

"No! N…not at all, Pearly!" Maya said quickly, trying to keep calm. She had made a promise to herself that she'd answer anything Pearl asked, but she really hadn't expected that question to pop out. "It's just that…that's not an easy question to answer."

"Oh…" Pearl said sadly, looking absolutely heartbroken. Maya gasped and grabbed Pearl's shoulders.

"But…that doesn't mean I can't answer it!"

"Really? Oh, thank you Mystic Maya!" Pearl squealed earnestly, jumping up and down excitedly. Maya gave a sort of half-hearted chuckle. Her cousin had NO idea what she was really asking. Maya racked her brain, trying to come up with an appropriate answer and adventure for Pearl to enjoy.

"Now, Mystic Maya, I want to know EVERYTHING!" Pearl squealed excitedly.

"Well…um…okay!"

"…"

"…"

"Mystic Maya? Are you…going to start?"

"Why, of course I am, Pearly! I just remembered that I…uh…left the stove on!" Maya said quickly, trying to delay the inevitable. Pearl looked at the floor, almost ashamed to point out the contradiction.

"Um…Mystic Maya? We don't have a stove at the office."

"Of course! I mean, back at my house! You know, in Kurain!"

"But…you haven't been to Kurain in months."

"Which is why it's really bad if I left the stove on, don't you think Pearly?"

"Are you…really going to tell me where babies come from?" Pearl asked dejectedly. Maya couldn't stall forever, especially with the look on her adorable cousin's face.

"Yes! Of course! Um…okay. Well…um…most babies come from hospitals," Maya said, smiling. Pearl gasped before biting her lip.

"What's a hospital?"

"Oh, it's a place with a bunch of doctors, and you go there when you're really sick."

"Wait, are babies really sick?" Pearl asked, tears coming to her eyes.

"Ah! No Pearly!" Maya replied quickly, reassuring her cousin. Then, she got a brilliant idea. "Actually, let me show you a hospital! Let's go!"

Maya scribbled a quick note for Nick and whisked Pearly away from the office and towards the Hotti clinic. When they got there, the two were greeted by a rather sketchy doctor with a tuft of purple hair.

"Hm? Yes…can I help you…mmm?"

"You bet!" Maya said cheerfully, completely oblivious to the disturbed look on her cousin's face. "Can you direct us to the nursery?"

"Mmm…yes…just upstairs. But…if you girls need surgery…I'd be happy to examine you…yes…"

"Great! Thanks, doc!"

Maya dragged her cousin to the elevator, where Pearl began to stammer.

"Um…how does this show me where babies come from?"

"You'll see!"

Maya walked with her cousin to the nursery, where Pearl's eyes widened with amazement. There, she saw all the little babies lined up under a nurse's care - some were wrapped in pink while others were wrapped in blue.

"Mystic Maya! Look! Look! They're all so cute!"

"Aren't they?"

Pearl was excited as she looked at the babies through the glass window. Further down the hall, a young couple was looking at the nursery with looks of pure elation on their faces. The man was holding his tired, but smiling wife in his arms. Pearl ran over to them while Maya tried to keep up with her excitedly quick paces.

"Are you guys new parents?" Maya asked. The couple nodded in unison, smiling happily.

"That's great! I'm so happy for you guys," Pearl squealed delightfully. "Which one's yours?"

"The beautiful little girl at the end of the front row," the father said excitedly. Pearl smiled wide.

"She's adorable! That was a good choice! It's nice that hospitals have all sorts of babies to pick from!"

The new parents gave Pearl an odd look, causing Maya to sigh.

"Pearly…that's not how it works. Mommies come to the hospital so they can have their baby safely," Maya explained.

"Huh?"

"Yes," the new mother explained. "Babies are made by a mommy with the help of someone special…"

"Someone special?" Pearl asked quizzically, before gasping. "You mean…with a special someone!"

"Something like that," the father said, hugging his wife closer. Pearl turned to Maya with a very adorable grin and eyes that gleamed with happiness.

"Since Mr. Nick's your special someone, that means he can help you make a baby!"

"Pearly…" Maya muttered. She had never bothered to correct her when she made her assumptions about her and Nick, but now seemed as good a time as any to set things right. "Nick and I…we're not like that…"

"But…he'd do anything for you, Mystic Maya! You don't have to be shy around me. I can keep it secret if you want!" Pearl giggled, her hands over her cheeks. Maya sighed.

"Pearly…I'm not…Nick and I are just friends, you know? Like…you and Nick are friends."

"But…he's special to you! That's what you said!" Pearl cried. She was beginning to get frustrated.

"He is special to me! I care about him a lot, Pearly. He's my best friend…" Maya said calmly, but this only seemed to make her cousin angrier.

"So why? Why won't he make babies with you?" Pearl said angrily, still confused about the whole situation. Before Maya could react, Pearl took off crying down the hallway.

"Wait, Pearly!" Maya called, trying to give chase. When she rounded the corner, Pearl was nowhere to be found.

"Pearly!" Maya called frantically, trying not to panic. She raced down the hallways of the hospital, calling for her cousin, but she couldn't find her anywhere. Maya found herself in the lobby after running for at least 20 minutes, where she collapsed into a chair, burying her face in her hands. She continued to sob before hearing a familiar lawyer's voice.

"Maya! What happened? What happened to Pearl!"

Maya looked up at Phoenix through her tear-stained eyes.

"I…I don't know," Maya cried, sobbing. Maya cried harder, burying her face into Phoenix's suit. "She's gone, Nick!"

Phoenix's face went completely white as he allowed Maya to use his shirt as a tissue. Maya couldn't stop crying.

"It's all m-my fault! I promised I'd…keep her happy…and now…"

"Maya…it's not," Phoenix began, holding back his own desire to wail. "I'm here for you, it's okay…"

"Nick…thank you…" Maya whispered, still clinging to him. As the two clung to each other, a little voice chirped excitedly.

"See! I told you he was your special someone!"

The two broke apart and looked at Pearl, wide-eyed. Phoenix gasped as he ran over and pulled Pearl into a hug.

"Pearls! I thought you'd died!" Phoenix stammered before Maya interrupted.

"Died? What gave you that idea?"

"Well, what was with all the waterworks?"

"She'd run off because she was mad at me, but still…why did you think she died?"

Phoenix pulled out the note that Maya had left for him in the office.

_Had to take Pearly to the hospital. -Maya_

Maya stared at the note before glancing at Phoenix's frazzled face. She laughed

"Geez, Nick, you're such a worrywart. We came for another reason!"

"Dare I ask why?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Good point."

Pearl watched Phoenix and Maya laugh together before going up to the lawyer, beaming from ear to ear.

"Congratulations on the baby, Mr. Nick!" Pearl squealed, causing Phoenix to look startled.

"What?"

"You're going to make babies with Mystic Maya now, right?" Pearl asked innocently, causing Phoenix's eyes to bug out of his head.

"What…WHAAAAAAAAAAT!"

"Can I watch you guys make babies?"

"Huh!"

"Maybe I can help!"

"Huh? Huh!"

Maya laughed at Phoenix's confused and mortified face, despite her own facial color.

"Hey Nick…I guess you have to say it now…" Maya said, smirking. Phoenix sighed before clearing his throat.

"OBJECTION!"

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Read and review! Reviews are helpful, encouraging, and provide me with motivation to update on time. Next up: Klavier's got a question for his dear older brother…


	4. Klavier and Kristoph

So, this didn't come out quite the way I wanted, but whatever. I'm trying to make the chapters as different as possible, so some may be better than others. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Some of the dialogue in the beginning came from a seven year old named Garrett who asked me some very curious questions while I was working as a nanny.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.

* * *

"Oh Kristoph?"

Sixteen year old Kristoph had been engaged in his difficult law textbook when he heard the singsong voice of his little brother down the hall. He closed his eyes and grimaced as eight year old Klavier burst through the room.

"Klavier…can't you see I'm busy?" Kristoph groused. The small blond child pouted in response.

"You're always busy, Kristoph! You promised yesterday that you'd play with me!"

"No…I don't believe I did. It's 6 AM…"

"But I want to ask you a question!"

"Klavier, I'm busy. Ask me later."

"If I ask when you're all done, do you PROMISE to answer me?"

"Fine, just leave me alone."

Klavier dashed out of the room as his older brother resumed reading about old courtroom procedures. Kristoph sat hunched over his textbook for at least another hour before finally returning to reality. When he opened his door to move out to the hall, Klavier was standing there, grinning widely.

"Kriiiiiiistoph!" Klavier chirped in a singsong voice. "I've got a REALLY important question for you!"

"Fine, what is it!" Kristoph said exasperatedly. He knew if he refused to answer, Klavier would run to their father, who would blame Kristoph without checking the facts. Klavier knew this, of course, and he had the PERFECT question prepared to drive his brother insane.

"Kristoph, how are babies made?"

Kristoph stared at Klavier and blinked a couple times, trying to keep his composure. Klavier was by no means dumb. The little boy knew full well that the question he was asking was extremely awkward, even if he didn't quite know all the details. Kristoph swallowed hard before responding, trying to keep his crimson face from sight.

"May I ask why you want to know that?"

"Um…just because."

Kristoph sighed. There was no denying that his brother's sole purpose in life was to try and drive him up the wall. Whether it was banging on that toy guitar in the middle of the night or interrupting his dates, Kristoph resented his little brother. Kristoph's last date had actually given Klavier her number, and Kristoph wasn't too fond of being passed over for an eight year old kid. Maybe now would be the time for his revenge.

"Alright, Klavier. Before I tell you, tell me what you know. I would hate to bore you with details that you were already aware of," Kristoph said, smiling coolly. Klavier hadn't been expecting that reaction, and the boy's face turned beat red.

"You mean…right now?"

"You brought this up, Klavier," Kristoph replied serenely, pulling out a tiny tape recorder, hidden from Klavier's sight. It was the perfect idea - Kristoph knew how to get access to the PA system at Klavier's school, and the recording would make for an excellent morning announcement.

"Uh…well…it has to do with boys and girls, right?"

"Go on…"

"And…they do something…and then a baby makes the girl get fat."

Kristoph chuckled at Klavier's crude explanations.

"And then…it comes out of the mommy's mouth, like we do when we throw up."

(A/N: Word for word, this is what Garrett said to me when he asked me this question. I'm not kidding.)

Kristoph couldn't hold it in any longer. He burst into an almost maniacal laughing fit, causing his little brother to glare.

"Kristoph? What's so funny?"

"Nothing…continue."

Klavier looked at his older brother skeptically. Klavier wasn't stupid. It didn't take him long to realize that Kristoph was trying to make him look like a complete fool - especially after Klavier noticed a small tape recorder in his elder brother's hand.

"Kristoph…lose the recording and just tell me. I want to know. Really."

"Klavier…why do I have an obligation to tell you anything? And this recording is what I call 'payback,' yes?"

Klavier smirked at this. If his brother wanted to play rough…so would he.

"You know, Kristoph…maybe I should tell father about what you did with Marie?"

Kristoph's smile vanished. Kristoph had been very taken with Marie, and he had THOUGHT the two of them had been alone when they had…well…Klavier should have been at school…

"Wh…what?"

"I suppose I could ask father about babies. It wouldn't be hard," Klavier replied darkly, before putting on a mocking tone. "Oh Father? When Kristoph and Marie were in his bedroom…were they making a baby?"

Kristoph's fist clenched. His father would murder him. He would get smacked for letting his grades slip…who knew what he would do if he found out about Marie?

"Klavier…you wouldn't DARE," Kristoph hissed, his eyes flashing menacingly. "Is threatening me with that really a wise idea?"

"All I want is to know what exactly happens. Obviously, my explanation was contradictory, given your extreme fits of laughter. So…tell me the truth. I want to know because my friends were teasing me when I didn't know the answer."

Kristoph looked at Klavier's sad face. Klavier was being sincere now, not that Kristoph particularly cared. At the very least, Klavier was the only brother he had, and part of Kristoph secretly liked that Klavier was coming to him instead of their parents.

"Alright…what do you need to know?"

"Well…how do they come out? I guess our mother didn't throw us up, huh."

"No…they…well…there are multiple ways for the baby to come out. Some mother's elect to have surgery."

"Surgery? Like…slicing the mommy open?"

"Yes, exactly. They cut her open, get the baby, and cut the string that holds the baby in place."

Klavier's eyes glared at his older brother, much to Kristoph's surprise. The boy was fed up with his brother attempting to make him look stupid.

"Kristoph, I told you not to lie to me! That sounds so stupid. I mean, who in their right mind would cut someone up just to get a baby out? Forget it, Kristoph!"

"Wait…you're not going to…"

Before Kristoph could finish his question, Klavier had ran out of the room, fuming. Klavier was a bit of a drama queen, but Kristoph couldn't risk it. Knowing Klavier, his parents had already learned all about his fling with Marie, and Kristoph had to get his payback before his own punishment. He dashed out the door before seeing his parents and headed to Klavier's school.

()()()()

Klavier was in his classroom, bored with everyone around him. They were laughing and giggling, and the morning announcements hadn't even begun yet. He was still brooding over the situation with Kristoph.

Yes…he had asked the question to get on his brother's nerves. And yes, he knew bringing up Kristoph's date with Marie was wrong, but he couldn't help it. It was in the handbook for little brothers to be obnoxious. Klavier understood that the word "sex" was something unmentionable, and he could reasonably deduce that that was where babies were made. But he didn't know exactly what it was…and he really did want Kristoph to tell him.

Klavier's thoughts were interrupted by the morning announcements…and his face turned bright red as he recognized his own voice coming over every speaker in the school…

()()()()

Kristoph hadn't really felt guilty about sneaking into Klavier's elementary school that morning. Klavier deserved it, especially after spying on Kristoph's own "baby-making" experiment.

It was well after the elementary school had let out when the home phone rang. Kristoph recognized it as his father's number and promptly answered it.

"Father?"

"Kristoph! I just heard from Mr. Queen that his daughter Marie is quite taken with you. You should ask her out properly. Mr. Queen is a judge, and it would be fitting…"

Kristoph tuned his father's drawling voice out as his mouth hung open in shock. Regardless of his father's intrusion on his dating life, he knew one thing for certain - Klavier obviously hadn't told anyone. Kristoph hung up the phone before his father even stopped talking. He looked at his watch. Klavier should have been home 40 minutes ago.

Kristoph tried to rationalize the situation. Whatever…Klavier was a tough kid. He's a tease himself, so a little teasing couldn't hurt him that badly, right? Besides it's not like Kristoph felt guilty…but he couldn't lie to himself. If it was anyone else, Kristoph would have been one of the people to mock him mercilessly. But it was his younger brother, and Kristoph knew Klavier looked up to him more than he could imagine.

He grabbed his coat and took off for the school. He didn't have to walk far before he heard children's voices coming from the park nearby.

"What's wrong, Klavier? A baby coming out your mouth?" a boy's voice sneered.

Kristoph rounded the corner and saw something that made him angry. Klavier was on the ground, his clothes and hair covered in mud, while two much larger boys seemed to be kicking and taunting him relentlessly.

"You've got some nerve, idiot. Standing on your high horse all the time, acting smarter than us. Really…you're worthless. I hope you know that."

Klavier had clearly been crying, and Kristoph knew he had to do something.

"HOLD IT!"

Kristoph shouted at the top of his lungs. The two bullies turned to face him, their faces still smiling evilly.

"This your brother?" one of the boys said sarcastically.

"No man…that's his sister! Just as sissy as the wimp over there…" the other boy laughed, pointing at Klavier.

Kristoph grabbed the two boys by their collars and pulled them very close to his face. He gave them his most menacing glare and hissed in his most venomous voice.

"If you so much as THINK about hurting Klavier again, I will skin you both alive, bury you in the ground, and make sure your parents never find so much as a toenail from your decomposing corpses. Are we clear?"

The boys began to tremble with utter terror. Kristoph noticed a small yellow trickle running down the largest boy's leg. He threw the boys to the ground before they sprinted away, terrified of the teenager before him.

When the boys were gone, Kristoph turned his attention to his younger brother, who was still sitting on the ground with his face buried in his arms. There were no major injuries that he could see, but Klavier looked more miserable than the last time Kristoph pulled an evil prank on him.

"Klavier…are you alright?" Kristoph asked, reaching for him. Klavier smacked his hand away.

"Why? Why are you like this? One minute, you're smiling, the next…you just…" Klavier trailed off, turning away from Kristoph. Kristoph didn't quite know how to respond. Why did he feel the need to cause people so much…grief?

"I…don't know. I just don't."

"Is this because I asked you where babies come from?" Klavier asked quietly, still refusing to look at his brother. Kristoph shook his head.

"No…this is from years of resentment. This shouldn't be the case, but…I can't help it. The question was the trigger. You know full well where babies come from, and you wanted to embarrass me. You succeeded, and I felt this was…justified."

"I knew? If I knew, why would I babble on like an idiot? And then you…I would never do that to you. Ever. Brothers don't do that."

Kristoph sighed, deeply regretting his actions that morning.

"Honestly…I thought you had told father about me and Marie, which would mean I would be…" Kristoph began before Klavier cut him off.

"I never actually spied on you."

"What?"

"I made it up. I knew you were on a date. That was all. You sort of…filled in the gaps for me. And I was never going to tell on you because…"

"Brothers don't do that, I get it," Kristoph finished, feeling something remarkably like guilt in the pit of his stomach.

The two brothers sat in silence. Klavier still wouldn't look at his brother, not that Kristoph could blame him. Kristoph knew he needed to do something drastic if he would ever bridge the gap. He sighed, swallowing his pride, before speaking.

"Klavier…let me tell you where babies come from…"

* * *

Alright, you know how much I love your reviews. Thank you so much for all the inspiration thus far. Next chapter: Larry's in a bit of a bind…


	5. Larry and Gregory

Alrighty, here's the next chapter! Thanks everyone for the reviews! I'm sorry that I haven't responded to all of them this week, I've had a lot of work to do. This chapter might be my favorite, so I really hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.

* * *

"Dude! Hey Nick! Guess what?"

The spiky-haired fourth-grader hopped off the park swing to greet a smiling Larry, who seemed to have had more sugar than usual.

"Larry…what is it?"

"Well…my mom's gonna have a baby! Isn't that awesome!" Larry squealed, unable to contain his excitement. Phoenix couldn't help but smile. For once, Larry had a genuine reason to be overly enthusiastic.

"You're going to be a brother? Larry, that's really cool!" Phoenix replied excitedly. Phoenix never had any siblings, and the one time he asked his mom if he could have a baby brother, his mom had laughed hysterically. Larry was still grinning.

"I know, right? Dude, where's Edgey? I gotta tell him!"

Phoenix's smile faded slightly.

"Miles is sick today. He was supposed to come over to my house, but his dad called and cancelled."

"Well…we're still going to tell him. Let's go visit him, Nick! He'll be THRILLED to see us!"

"Great idea, Larry!"

()()()()

"101...Miles, that's still too high."

Gregory Edgeworth was looking at a thermometer while sitting on the edge of his son's bed. Miles was huddled under his covers, but he peaked his head out when his father spoke.

"But…I wanted to go to Nick's house today!" Miles whined, before bursting into a coughing fit. Gregory shook his head.

"You need bed rest. Seriously, you were up crying all last night because your throat hurt."

"I wasn't crying!"

"And if I testified to the contrary?"

Miles scowled at his father as he thrust the covers over his head again. Gregory sighed before he heard a knock on the door. Before he could head downstairs to answer it, he heard thunderous footsteps running on his hardwood floors. He rolled his eyes as the footsteps made their way up the stairs.

"Edgey! Guess what!" Larry exclaimed, ignoring any form of tact by shouting at the top of his lungs. "My mommy's pregnant!"

Miles poked his head out from under his covers to glare at Larry.

"Great. Now go away," Miles whispered hoarsely, prompting a stern glare from his father.

"Miles…that's not very polite at all," Gregory scolded. "Forgive him Larry, he's feeling lousy."

"Ah…it's okay, Mr. E. No biggie!" Larry said quickly, unable to stop smiling. He kept babbling to Miles for another few minutes before Phoenix had politely made his way up the stairs.

"Sorry Mr. Edgeworth. Larry was…excited," Phoenix apologized sheepishly.

"Well, he has a right to be, Phoenix. Why don't I leave you boys alone? I was going to make Miles some tea, anyway."

After Gregory Edgeworth made his way downstairs, Miles promptly resumed glaring at his so-called friends. Larry was still giggling, but Phoenix looked a little more concerned.

"How are you feeling, Miles?"

"What do you think?" Miles replied sarcastically, before groaning at the hoarseness of his voice. Larry was still completely oblivious to the situation, and continued to grin before a certain thought struck his head. His look of giddiness slowly turned into one of confusion, and then one of bewilderment. Miles took notice and sighed.

"I'm going to regret this, but Larry…what are you thinking about?"

"Well…my mom's pregnant, yeah?"

"We've heard," Phoenix muttered, rolling his eyes.

"So…how?" Larry asked softly, causing Miles to cock his head in response.

"What?"

"How did she get pregnant?" Larry asked again, racking his brain. The two other boys looked at each other.

"Huh. I don't know…" Phoenix said, before looking at Miles quickly. Larry quickly followed suit. Miles shrugged his shoulders.

"How should I know?"

"Dude, you know everything!" Larry declared. Miles sighed, but he inwardly grinned at his friend's praise. Even if it was from Larry, it was often pleasurable to have your ego stroked.

"Well…father once told me that a stork came and left me on the doorstep," Miles mused, but Larry shook his head.

"But my mom's PREGNANT, silly! If the stork did that, why did my mom say a baby was growing in her tummy?"

Miles scowled at this before Phoenix interrupted.

"Maybe the stork DID give Mr. Edgeworth the baby, since there's no Mrs. Edgeworth!"

Miles shook his head.

"Objection! Phoenix, I did have a mother. There are pictures. She died when I was a baby."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that," Phoenix sighed before Miles continued.

"I think we can logically conclude that my father's stork theory was incorrect. Now, is there any other evidence we can use?"

The three boys sat in deep thought before Phoenix spoke up.

"Well…I have my dad's hair, and my mom's eyes. Maybe that has something to do with it?"

"So you're saying that the mother and father have to contribute to make a baby?" Miles mused. "That seems like a logical assumption."

"But how do they do that?" Larry wondered. Phoenix paused before replying.

"Erm…well I guess the daddies have something mommies don't have, right?"

"Makes sense, I guess," Miles said. At this, Larry got a devilish grin on his face.

"Well…we pee standing up. Maybe we…you know…stick it in something," Larry began, before Miles interrupted.

"Hold it. Larry, that's disgusting. Just…stop talking."

"But…!"

"No, Larry," Phoenix exclaimed, his head in his hands. "Just because YOUR brain works in disgusting ways doesn't mean WE have to think like that."

Larry sighed as his two friends continued to cringe. After a moment, Phoenix looked up, a brilliant idea in his head.

"I think we need additional testimony."

"Testimony? From who?" Miles asked, clearly puzzled.

"From someone who's experienced in making a baby."

"Dude, Nick! Where are we going to find someone like that?" Larry asked. Before anyone could answer, they were interrupted by a soft knock on Miles's door.

"Alright, boys. I've brought you some tea…" Gregory Edgeworth said, smiling with a tray of teacups in his hands. The man looked in the room and he saw something terrifying.

Three children were all sitting on his son's bed staring at him. They were smiling expectantly, looking like perfect, well-behaved angels. Gregory was terrified.

"Oh father?" Miles asked sweetly. "We have a question."

"I'm afraid to know, but what is it?"

"How are babies made?"

Gregory should have expected it, but he was still shocked. He dropped the tray of teacups and watched them crash and splatter tea all over the floor.

"Oh, would you look at that! I'm so clumsy. Let me just go and make some more tea! Haha!" Gregory stammered with a forced chuckle. He turned to leave when Phoenix raised his voice.

"Hold it! Don't avoid the question. Besides…Miles is sick. And isn't it a father's job to help their kids when they're sick?"

Gregory Edgeworth sighed and turned around, glaring at the three boys.

"You kids will be the death of me, you know that?" Gregory muttered, prompting the kids to giggle. Miles crossed his arms and spoke up again.

"So father…how are babies made? Since Larry's mother is pregnant…we were curious."

"Well…I don't know if I should discuss it without Larry and Phoenix's parents' permission…" Gregory said, continuing to stall for time.

"Please, Mr. E? My mom is all grouchy and I wouldn't bother her with something like this," Larry said hopefully.

"And my parents are at work, so you're all we got," Phoenix whispered excitedly. Gregory sighed.

"Alright…well…when a man and a woman love each other very much…after they're married they sort of have a…special hug."

The boys listened carefully as Gregory explained very gently, despite being constantly red-faced as he spoke. Gregory didn't explain all the details, but he got through the general idea. After he was finished, Miles and Phoenix seemed satisfied. Larry, however, still had a problem.

"So…you said this all happened after you were married, right?"

"Yeah…when a husband and wife are ready to become a father and mother, they make the choice to have a baby."

"Well…my mom's not married."

Gregory's mouth dropped open.

"What?"

"Oh, my mom's dedicated to her modeling career. She doesn't even date."

"R-really…"

"So…how did that happen? She said something about getting pregnant by accident in Paris…"

Gregory's face turned crimson. Miles and Phoenix were once again listening intently, and Larry was legitimately asking.

"Um…I think that's a question for your mother…she would know…"

"Okay…thanks Mr. E!" Larry laughed, grinning. "C'mon Nick! Let's go ask her! See if she's done throwing up yet."

The two boys ran out of the room excitedly, leaving Miles and the mortified Mr. Edgeworth in the bedroom. Gregory turned to his son.

"Did you know Larry's mom wasn't married?"

"Yeah," Miles said quietly. "Apparently, his dad just left when he was two."

"I see…"

"Sometimes, I feel really sorry for him," Miles continued. "I mean…mother died. It's not like Larry's dad, who WANTED to abandon him…"

Gregory sighed and scooted closer to his son and ruffled his hair.

"Miles…as long as I live, I will be there for you. I hope you know that."

"I know, father. I know…"

* * *

Reviews are still loved, and I really, really would love to hear your input on this chapter! Next up: Kay's got a question for her father…


	6. Kay and Byrne

So…I'm back from the grave. I literally went completely cold turkey on fanfiction, not even reading it at all over the summer. But…I'm back! I'm not guaranteeing fast updates since I fail abysmally at that anyway, but I will try to make you smile when I'm struck with inspiration. I tried my best to make this relatively spoiler free. No major spoilers from AAI, and I have not played GK2 since I do not speak Japanese. If they release it in English, French, or Italian, let me know.

Disclaimer: I do not own the ace attorney series or any of its characters.

* * *

It was an ordinary day for Byrne Faraday at the prosecutor's office, except for one tiny thing.

It was "take your daughter to work" day.

He had spent half the morning chasing after his 7 year old daughter, who seemed to really enjoy getting her hands on every important document or piece of evidence she could find. The whole day had consisted of Byrne's reprimands.

"_Kay, don't touch that."_

"_Kay, where did you get that purse?"_

"_Kay, you can't play with Prosecutor Payne's toupee."_

"_Kay, that's Prosecutor Von Karma's walking stick. He needs that."_

"_Kay, I don't want to know where you got that whip, but put it back."_

After frantically dragging Kay away from large numbers of shiny objects, Byrne had sat her down in his office and told her not to move.

"Honey, I have a lot of work to do. I need you to stay out of trouble while I get this report done, okay?"

"What do you mean by trouble?" Kay asked innocently.

"Don't bother the other prosecutors by running…screaming…stealing their wallets…"

"Daddy, there's nothing to do!" Kay whined. "When's Mommy picking me up?"

Byrne sighed. His divorce had only been finalized a month ago, and Kay hadn't handled it well. And since Kay spent every other week at her mother's, Byrne hadn't gotten a chance to spend much quality time with her.

"Your mommy is picking you up tomorrow morning. Until then, you can spend time with me, alright?"

"But you just told me to leave you alone!"

"Give me an hour, okay? Then, I can show you some cool things in the office!" Byrne said, trying to sound excited. Kay wasn't buying it.

"There's nothing 'cool' in the office!"

"Well, find something. Your mom and I told you to be on your best behavior," Byrne whispered. Kay responded by muttering something under her breath, which caused Byrne to nearly lose his temper.

"Kay…cool it. Now. Sit in the chair, and don't leave this office," Byrne growled before he left the office to make a quick call on his cell phone.

"Byrne? What's the matter?"

"Nina…" Byrne whispered to his ex-wife over the phone. "We really need to do something. She's…"

"Out of control?"

"Yeah…exactly," Byrne muttered. He pretended not to notice Kay trying to slip some of his figurines in her purse.

"It's not just you, Byrne. She's been the same with me," Nina replied. "But you're her father. You try figuring it out."

"I will…I just wanted to let you know…in case she tells you I'm being horrible," Byrne muttered. Nina laughed.

"Seriously, Byrne, I'm at my wit's end with her too. She came home from school with the teacher's purse the other day. I mean…we handled everything well, right? No screaming fights, no messy custody disputes. We even agreed to spend holidays together!"

"Nina, I know…something's bothering her though, and I'll figure it out."

"I know you will. Let me know how it goes, okay?"

He hung up the phone before re-entering his office, only to find his daughter looking through his case files.

"Put those back. I need to talk to you," Byrne said softly. Kay looked up at her father, not saying anything.

"I was just on the phone with Mommy, and she told me you haven't been listening to her either. Is that true?" Byrne asked hopefully. Kay didn't answer.

"Honey…are you mad at us? What's going on?" Byrne asked, concerned. Kay looked at her father, with tears in her eyes.

"Daddy…how are babies made?"

Byrne couldn't have heard what he thought he heard. He swallowed the instant lump that had formed in his throat.

"…sorry honey, but what did you say?" Byrne choked out, dreading the response.

"How are babies made? How did you make me?"

"Seriously…THIS has been bothering you?" Byrne asked incredulously. Kay just nodded sadly.

"Um…well…when a man and a woman love each other, they…just…well…kiss a lot. In bed," Byrne mumbled, trying to keep his composure.

"Well, how does THAT make a baby?"

"Um…you know how mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed?" Byrne asked in an uncharacteristically high pitched voice. "Well…while they share a bed, a baby can be made…if they do things," Byrne muttered hoarsely, his face beet red.

"Oh."

Byrne looked at his daughter, who seemed to be looking at the ground, clearly not happy with the explanation.

"Well…what did you want to hear? Where did you think they came from?" Byrne asked softly. Kay smiled warmly.

"I thought babies were gifts from God!"

Byrne smacked his forehead, regretting his explanation instantly.

"Kay…I like yours better. Let's go with that."

Kay smiled briefly before burying her head in her hands. Byrne pulled her into a close hug.

"Sweetie…that wasn't it, was it? There's something else," Byrne said soothingly, rubbing her daughter's back.

"Daddy…I…" Kay sniffed. "I'm never going to be a big sister. Mommy's not having another baby because she won't be with you…"

"Kay-bear…"

"I'm sorry, Daddy. Just…why did you and Mommy divorce?"

Byrne sighed. They'd explained, countless times, but this was the first time she really wanted to know.

"Kay…that's a big question…" Byrne began hesitantly. "If you promise not to interrupt, I'll try and explain really well, okay?"

Kay nodded, rubbing her tear-stained eyes. Byrne swallowed hard.

"Most divorced parents tell their kids that they just don't love each other anymore. I'm going to tell you that it's not true. I still love your mom. She is very dear to me, and I know she feels the same way," Byrne whispered quietly, but very clearly. Kay's eyes watched him, transfixed.

"But for past few years, neither of us was very happy. We never fought, but we just grew apart, to the point where we had become different people without even noticing. I couldn't be the husband that I needed to be to make her happy, and she was miserable. And I was sad because she was sad. We both decided that this would be the best for you."

"How? How is that the best for me?"

"Because…if we're both miserable all the time, our abilities as parents suffer. We start forgetting things and getting angry unreasonably."

"Daddy…what about all the times you snuck out at night? Were you cheating on mommy?"

Byrne looked at his daughter, his mouth open wide. He thought he managed to keep his late night business away from his family, but evidently, he was unsuccessful.

"I never cheated on your mother. She may have thought that, but I never did. When I said I was working, I was actually working," Byrne said, not willing to reveal where he was really going on his late night excursions.

"Daddy…did you love mommy when you made me?"

"I told you already, I still love your mommy. But we were a lot happier when we made you then we are now." Byrne said carefully, ruffling his daughter's hair.

"I just…I'm alone now. I want you and mommy to be happy," Kay whimpered.

"Kay…I want you to promise me something. No matter how bad things get, I want you to try and find something to smile about, okay?" Byrne whispered, hugging his daughter close.

"Why?"

"Because that's something your mother still does. She'll never cry in front of anyone, and if you can be strong like her, it'll make me happy. And if you make me happy, I'll do a better job of making YOU happy."

Kay smiled.

"Okay! You know what would make me happy?" Kay asked hopefully.

"Tell me. I'll make it happen," Byrne said, smiling.

"I was listening to a song on the radio the other day. Can you tell me what S&M is?" Kay asked sweetly, laughing at her father's shocked expression.

"Well…um…that is…back to that whip you found…"

* * *

Up next: Ema has a very scientific question for her sister…

Your reviews are what keep me writing this story, so please – I love your opinions. This was not as funny as the past stories, but I hope that anyone who's getting divorced with children involved understand their feelings. I made sure to make Kay's parents the kind who put their children first, and I wish all parents could realize that no matter their feelings towards their ex, they should never drag a child in the middle.


	7. Ema and Lana

By now, you all have probably realized that writing fanfiction is something that has slipped to the back burner. I wanted to finish this chapter – something I started over 2 years ago and got so roadblocked and frustrated that I could never bring myself to finish it. Now, I've finished this chapter…and I'm not too happy with it. But I wanted to give you all something as I promised it years ago. So…here's the latest installment of Ace Attorney characters and their awkward questions.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Ace Attorney series or any of its characters.

* * *

Lana was running late.

She sat in her economics lecture, continuously staring at the clock, which her professor seemed to be blatantly ignoring. Unlike other carefree college sophomores, Lana had to pick up her sister at 3, when school let out. After the class had already run over by twenty minutes, Lana excused herself, dashed out the door, and raced to her car.

By the time she'd gotten to Ema's elementary school, it was already 3:20. Hoping Ema wasn't freaking out, Lana raced into the front office.

Seven year old Ema was sitting in the front office, tears running down her face. When she saw Lana, she jumped off the broken chair and hugged her.

"Ema…I'm so sorry I'm late," Lana whispered, stroking her sister's hair. The little girl in a long white coat just sniffled.

"I…I got in trouble…" Ema sniffled, wiping her nose in Lana's jacket. "But I didn't do anything wrong…"

"What for?" Lana asked before Ema's tiny trembling hand handed her a note. Lana opened up the crumpled piece of paper reading the note from her teacher.

_Dear Miss Skye,_

_I'm sorry to report that Ema was very disruptive in class today. She threw several hard snacks at another boy, and she was misbehaving. Please sign this and have Ema return it tomorrow._

_Mrs. Peterson_

"Ema…let's go," Lana said sternly, grabbing Ema by the hand and leading her to the car.

"But Lana!"

"Ema…I don't know what you were thinking, but I know that throwing things at other people is wrong, no matter what," Lana said in a hushed voice as Ema climbed into the car. "So…no TV tonight."

"Lana! You know that Bill Chan the Science Man is on tonight!" Ema whined.

"I don't want to hear it!" Lana exclaimed sharply. "If you break the rules, you get consequences!"

Ema folded her arms and sighed audibly, while glaring at her sister. Lana continued to drive home, ignoring Ema's constant noises of annoyance. When she pulled up to a stoplight, she turned around sympathetically.

"Ema…I want to hear it from you. What happened?"

Ema's demeanor instantly changed, and she began to cry in the back seat.

"Jimmy was…being mean to me…" Ema wailed. "He called me stupid…"

"Ema…you get help from a teacher when that happens. Why did he call you stupid?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

Lana sighed as she continued to drive when the light changed to green.

"Ema…you know you can talk to me about anything, right? What happened?" Lana asked quietly. Ema bit her lip before mumbling something.

"Ema, what was that? I can't hear you!" Lana said as she pulled into their neighborhood.

"I want to know where babies come from!" Ema shouted.

Lana completely lost track of what she was doing as her car swerved into her own mailbox. She gasped before checking the back seat.

"Ema, are you okay?" Lana asked frantically. She turned around to see Ema giggling hysterically.

"Lana hit a mailbox! Lana hit a mailbox!" Ema giggled in a singsong voice. Lana sighed as she got out of the car. Ema jumped out of her car seat and followed her.

The mailbox had been knocked off of its post, but the car had no real damage. Lana sighed as she went to pick it up and put it back on its hinges. Ema kept laughing, and Lana was having a very difficult time trying to keep her temper under control.

"Wow Lana! Scientifically, the cause of this accident was a complete loss of driver concentration!" Ema continued.

"Ema…"

"Sis, you really shouldn't be driving like that. It's dangerous to my health…scientifically."

"That's enough Ema…"

"Now the mailbox is super crooked. Lana, why did you break it? Were you drinking alcohol? Because that would scientifically…"

"EMA!" Lana finally shouted, losing her temper, the mailbox still in her hand. "I broke it because you distracted me with your stupid question!"

Ema stopped, and the smile quickly faded from her face. Instantly regretting her choice of words, Lana hastily tried to change her tone.

"Ema...I didn't mean that..."

"Yes you did," Ema whispered quietly, tears welling in her eyes as she jumped out of the car.

"Ema…wait!" Lana pleaded. But Ema, surprisingly quick for a first grader, bolted into the house. Cursing, Lana tossed the mailbox aside and raced in after her.

Except the door was locked.

Lana ran to her car to get her keys…only to realize that Ema must have swiped them. Lana hurried back to the front door and began banging on it frantically.

"Ema! Open the door! Now!"

Ema didn't answer, but Lana could hear soft sniffling coming through the door.

"Ema…I'm sorry. I've never thought you were stupid," Lana began.

"If it's not a stupid question Lana…then just tell me!"

"Ema…let me in, and I'll tell you everything!" Lana shouted through the doorway, willing to do anything for her sister's forgiveness.

"Tell me where babies come from, and I'll let you in."

Lana looked around. Of course, the neighbors were out in full force. An old couple was walking hand in hand across the street. A middle aged woman just rounded the corner walking her dog. The Mason children were playing in the yard next door. Lana sighed, realizing she would probably get sued for what she was about to do.

"Ema…babies…"

"I can't hear you Lana!"

Lana coughed before raising her voice.

"Babies come from sex, okay?" Lana said, practically yelling. The kids next door had dropped their baseball and started looking intently while the middle aged woman began shaking her head with disgust.

"Well…what's that?"

"It's what adults do to have fun…together."

"Like Disney World? But…what is it scientifically?"

"No…it's…well…Daddies and Mommies do a little dance together where they show how much they love each other," Lana stammered, turning red faced as she heard the kids snickering next door. Lana buried her head in her arms, trying to find the words.

"Lana…scientifically!" Ema shrieked.

"Okay, I know…uh…" Lana racked her brain, before having a brilliant idea.

"Ema? You know about electricity, right?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay. Well, think of the daddy as the plug. And the mommy would be the wall socket. When the plug goes into the socket…you get electricity."

"So…when you plug daddy into mommy, you get a baby?" Ema asked innocently.

"Basically." Lana looked around. All of the neighbors seemed to be gone, except for the old couple across the street, who smiled and gave Lana a friendly wave. "Now let me in."

The door cracked open, and Lana rushed in before Ema could change her mind.

Ema was huddled by the door. She had been crying relentlessly, and she was holding a piece of paper in her hands.

Lana took the folded sheet and opened it.

There was a picture of a family…Lana's family, taken shortly before her parents died. Lana knelt down beside her crying sister.

"Ema…"

"Lana…read the back."

Lana obliged, and a lump welled into her throat as she read her mother's beautiful handwriting.

_And baby makes five._

"Ema…where did you get this?" Lana whispered, wiping her own tears away from her face.

"It was in Daddy's treasure box…I grabbed it right after…the police told us," Ema said quietly.

"And this is why you've been obsessed with…?"

"I was hoping the baby would come anyway, even if Mommy and Daddy were gone."

"Ema…" Lana sighed, her heart breaking into a million pieces.

"But electricity doesn't come if there's no plug or socket, so…"

Lana hugged her sister, not bothering to hide her own tears.

"Lana…why are you crying?"

"Ema…you didn't have to carry this by yourself. I…"

"Lana?"

"You are so smart and beautiful, Ema. I would do anything to keep you safe. I hope you know that."

"I love you too, sis."

"Hey…do you still want to watch Bill Chan the Science Man?"

"But you said no TV?"

"Oh, you're getting no TV for a week for locking me out and throwing things at school," Lana said sternly, while Ema pouted. "But we can start that tomorrow. Tonight...let's just…be together, okay?"

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed. I have no clue if/when I'm going to write the next chapter. But, I am willing to bet that the next game might give me some inspiration to write something…


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